Aug 202014
 

Today’s guest author is my 16-year-old “bonus son” who has spent another summer with us, creating more new “family stories and legends.”
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My name is Luis. I am half-German and half-American. I grew up in Berlin, Germany and, of course, spoke only German. Even though my Dad speaks only English, we had good visits when I was growing up: I got to see his world in the U.S. and he got to see some of Berlin. We had a strong connection but no direct, untranslated verbal communication.

Like all kids in Berlin, I started learning English in the 3rd grade. I never felt like being lazy about it. I wanted to communicate directly with my Dad. Even though I had not yet met all of them, knowing that I had a large, extended American family gave me even more motivation and discipline.

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[Tweet “My desire to know my American family has been important in developing my love of language.”]

Learning a new language meant — and still means — entering a whole new world. All the experiences that come with being immersed in another culture become both easier and more intense.

My extended American family did not know me either and they did not help with my actual studies but the desire to know them has been important in developing my love of language. I am in the 11th grade and, in addition to English, am learning three more languages.

Languages are the doors to new cultures and their people… vacations and their unique experiences and special moments. These things can become knowledge and wisdom… family stories and legends.  Coming to America each summer improves my English and deepens my connection to this part of my family and my American roots.

Now when we spend time together I’m as likely as anyone to start the flood of family stories by saying, “Remember the time….”

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[Tweet “These things can become knowledge & wisdom,  family stories & legends.”]

Jul 302014
 
English: Shopping carts in ABC Tikkula.

English: Shopping carts in ABC Tikkula. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

[Tweet “There can be long-term benefits to changing a child’s short-term economic expectations.”]

 

When it is difficult to make ends meet there is a particular parental struggle that doesn’t need to exist:  it is not necessary to feel guilty about setting limits on previously over-indulged children.  In fact, even if you haven’t established a precedent of over-indulgence, there’s no need to feel guilty about setting economic limits.  Like any tough situation, this one holds potential for some valuable learning:  there can be long-term benefits to changing a child’s short-term economic expectations.

Of course it can be difficult to say “no” to someone we love – and all parents want to be able to give their kids the best of everything.  But how do we define “the best”?  Can it be in the skills that we introduce and allow them to practice?  How about the benefits of budgeting?

Here are a few:

  • Setting priorities:  What is it they want the most?
  • Money management:  What is the relationship between saving and spending?
  • Planning: What will it take to get it?  What resources to they already have?  Which ones will they need to develop or find?
  • Self-determination: Are they willing to work for it?
  • Research:  Is there a way to get a better price on “the thing”?  Is it ever on sale?  Can it be found second hand?
  • Problem-solving: If they’ve not saved enough money how will they earn more?  Odd jobs?  Yard sale?

Giving your children a chance to learn the benefits of budgeting is a gift that will last far longer than… well… just about anything on their list!

 

 

May 202014
 
Bounce

Bounce (Photo credit: JanetR3)

 

“Mom, LOOK!” shrieks the bouncing fourth-grader, waving a flier under your nose.  “It’s time to sign up for _________.” (circus camp, music lessons, archery)

A parental ‘deer in the deadlights moment,’ for sure.  How do you balance an already over-packed schedule, a child’s enthusiasm and time at home? After all, until we get used to it, any new activity takes up a lot of space.

Children think about new uniforms and teammates. Parents wonder about sign-ups, physicals, practice schedules, transportation, equipment, fund-raising, banquets and whatever else will be asked.  And, while most of us would like our kids to have a wide range of experiences, it’s not always possible to enroll them in everything that appeals to them.

What happens when you do give in to a child’s begging only to discover that he doesn’t like it as much as he thought he would?  Or, that she doesn’t really have a knack for it? And, now that you’ve got the ‘support structure’ in place, they want to quit the team? What’s a parent to do when they find that a child is floundering in a new activity?

It’s can be a tough call.  Before they leave a troublesome or difficult activity behind, is there something that they can learn that will help them to do better the next time?  Is there potential benefit in participating without being a ‘star’?

Sometimes the real trophy is the character-building that comes with warming a bench and leading the cheers.  The opportunity to learn to maintain a positive attitude when they’re rather be doing something else may be well-worth all the carpools, extra laundry and snack schedules combined.

 

 

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